Rewind back to high school. I wish I had a photo of myself wearing my Candyland hoodie and Old Navy snowflake jams to share with you all but I don't. No, I wasn't a dork, but I played the "I don't care about how I look" card to the max. Sweatshirts and pajama pants just about every day. The truth was, I did care. I cared a lot. I cared so much about how I looked that I pretended that I didn't so I could still be cool without having to worry about fashion. Well, that only gets you so far. This style worked for me well through college where I got by on band tees and sweats by day and my Hard Rock Cafe server dress by night.
Then came the birth of my oldest daughter Marleigh Magnolia and along with her the forever changing body of a young girl when she enters motherhood. I had gained over fifty percent of my weight with this pregnancy, lost some (SOME!) breastfead, stopped working my busy restaurant job and began settling into my life as a stay at home mom. Pajamas every day yo! I was getting older, my body and looks weren't what they once were and unfortunately the "I don't care" attitude was no longer doable. I had turned into a straight up frumpy mama and I did not feel good.
I hated leaving the house. I hated going out. I hated getting dressed. We didn't have a lot of money (still don't!) so shopping for clothes at places as inexpensive as Target was pretty much out of the question. What made matters worse was that I was only 23. I was the first of my friends to have a baby. I felt like everyone else was still so cute and I was just old. Family gatherings and nights out gave me massive anxiety. I wished that I could buy a new outfit for special occasions but we could not afford it. The stress generated from getting dressed to go somewhere was absolutely ridiculous. I would much rather stay at home in my sweat pants (not even cute yoga pants) rather than figure out what to wear.
Then I made a choice to change.
I specifically remember getting ready for my mother in law's surprise party for her 50th birthday. My second daughter Norah was just a month old so my body was at the peak of postpartum frumpiness. AND there was a wardrobe theme for the party. That's right, we would be taking a family photo and everyone was supposed to wear "light colors." So there I was freaking out all day trying to figure out what I was going to wear to this party, in the middle of winter, breast feeding and with a theme and nothing fit me! I can't really remember exactly but I am sure I spent the entire day trying on various skirts that wouldn't zip and crying but alas it was time to get ready to go. I grumbled myself into a black pencil skirt and a gray sweater. Far from anything "light". As we were on our way over to the party something kind of cool happened. Out of nowhere I just decided that my outfit was fine. I owned it. And I put on my confidence.
And guess what? The outfit really was fine. No one cared. It was toooootally fine. Looking back on it, the stress of figuring out what to wear seems so silly. Not wanting to attend a joyous occasion because you can't figure out what to wear is bananas. Mind you, I still have my occasional days where I feel like there is nothing in my closet, but those are few and far between from what once was. I honestly LOOK FORWARD to going out now and figuring what I am going to wear.
Phew. That was a lot of build up to get the one simple concept: you can wear whatever you want if YOU think it looks cute and you put on your confidence. Seriously, if you like it then put it on, add some confidence and you will indeed rock it. Ditch the sweatpants and scrubby tee shirts too, because you can find a lot of comfy outfits that will make you feel way better about yourself than those. (I hope to share some ideas on this blog in the future).
Thanks for reading. Please leave feedback if you would like. I truly would like to use this blog to be an inspiration to others like some of my favorite blogs have been an inspiration to me (that's another blog post for the future as well!) but geared with poor writing skills, zero tech skills and an iPad I am a little nervous. I guess I should take my own fashion advice and just put on my confidence!
Blessings!
Ang
